| Part IV |
[Jul. 9th, 2009|08:31 am] |
One billion years in the future...
At a future folk luncheon in a newly extruded dining hall, our lead coquettishly flirts with most living beings and some not. This makes her wonder about her place in the nature of things.
Confused at her place in the nature of everything, she starts to taste the food telepathically. Several orgiastic paroxysms later at the ambrosiac nature of this wondrous bounty being tasted by her head, the futurehuman telepathic conversation turns to the devastating attack upon humanity.
Everyone is suddenly, loudly, telepathically thinking about the words Malign, Singular and Quandary accompanied by cryptic visuals from Toto album covers, distressing her enough to step outside to catch her breathe and ponder her confused place in the nature of everything. |
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| Unicorn chaser. |
[Jul. 7th, 2009|01:18 pm] |
The last thing you ever see
will not be as bad
as the last thing you ever hear. |
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| III |
[Jul. 7th, 2009|08:17 am] |
Meanwhile, one billion years into the future...
Our lead character is further rescued from the charred remains of her life by the appearance of an ambivalent supraman, who flies her to the charred remains of his.
An attack of luminous polygonal windows has reduced the Library of Humanity's earliest DNA samples to just her, so she must be kept safe moving rubble.
Some future woman then starts talking telepathically to our protagonist making her realise that she too is telepathic. And so is the sentient red pandacoon.
Suddenly everyfutureone starts dancing for the better part of two whole days, not unlike a scene from High School Musical. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 5th, 2009|03:19 pm] |
I do believe I have found the worst comic ever. |
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| II |
[Jul. 4th, 2009|10:27 pm] |
Meanwhile, one billion years into the future...
After a lavish bout of sexual metaphors, the protagonist has had her clan and big sexy future guy paramour annihilated by invaders. A large intelligent future red pandacoon has performed reiki on her cracked and smoking body, healing her and then ate a lizard.
For nefarious reasons of my own I had omitted mentioning that the main character is biologically cast from an early human template and so is naturally caught up in a slew of hormonal teenage baggage - lust, angst, twitter, appearance and ponies - that the generously endowed spongiform future humans laughingly discarded some billenia ago. |
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| I |
[Jul. 3rd, 2009|12:23 pm] |
Last weekend I picked up a copy of Gregory Benford's Beyond Infinity at the local markets for two dollars. Last night I got two chapters into the story of a young woman born one billion years into our future who is obsessing about cock and love.
The crucial point here is that it appears to be worth every cent. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 23rd, 2009|05:04 pm] |
Sarris - Galaxy Quest (1999)
Emporer Wang the Perverted - Flesh Gordon (1974)
I have found an obscuriosity that may embiggen the viewing experience. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 15th, 2009|04:19 pm] |
I just saw a Post Secret that I swear was in my handwriting. Wha?
I may have given myself brain damage by over-celebrating the end of the Festival of Jeff. Upon waking yesterday morning I stifled some hysterical screaming with a pillow because I had to immediately begin working on a really really really not very interesting storyboard.
As the fug of the hangover eventually dissipated it was slowly revealed to me that I did not have magical powers but an enormous cold instead.
Thanks heaps whoever you are, you went out and gave me your stupid lurgy and now I have a head cold while everyone looks for pandemic victims. You, you fuck, also made my having to draw a pitch about housing insulation government incentives worse than it even sounds.
Plus I'm downloading Flesh Gordon. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 13th, 2009|12:26 pm] |
There's been a cold snap so the morning journey is bed, shower, bed and the building two doors down caught on fire and I totally slept through it and I stopped playing Dead Space after hitting a stupid asteroid shooting section on easy and all the small things are filling up my day's dusty corners and I've been eating faaar too much of the most outrageously amazing food and this here picture is a stylistic rip of a stunning image I saw on a blog somewhere this one time that I loved. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 25th, 2009|01:56 pm] |
Big Daddy Rothcorn
Because I was fairly certain it couldn't be done. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 25th, 2009|11:55 am] |
I was going to scan some old work and so began rifling through my mess.
In the process I've been mightily distracted while looking through all the awful and in the process have made an even bigger mess which I'm now. Just. Walking. Away. From. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 18th, 2009|12:01 pm] |
Two star-crossed Honda lovers experience a passionate, wet evening of manic Civic lovin' sedan stylin' sex, followed by a cigarette. Almost immediately cutesy nicknames are coined in a heady rush of 3 Door Hatch ecstasy.
A slight frostiness develops during a lively debate over the merits of pearlescent versus metallic on the showroom floor.
A sly note laden with emoticons and unpredictive text - meant in soft jest - goes unnoticed as it escapes from under the windscreen wiper of a 4 Door Hybrid, only to land unseen in the gutter. He doesn't return the next nyt. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 14th, 2009|08:31 am] |
Yesterday I sat in on a group of financial analysts discussing whatever it is that passes for earnest conversation amongst them.
Today I am the winged-monkey resource they shall utilise to bring their ideas to life in a scintillating display of analogous metaphors. My most sincere hope is that they no longer sound like they are talking to me from a diving bell at the center of Jupiter's gaseous ocean.
Then I shall have no need to hide what I am actually drawing from them. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 12th, 2009|04:32 pm] |
A travesty of design, a victory in advertising! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 11th, 2009|10:48 am] |
The Dooshcanoes (feat. guest vocalist omenode)
"More Than A Feeling" |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 24th, 2009|01:44 pm] |
Look, I've been storyboarding tampon and nappy commercials, alright?
Feel free to imagine a month of freshly diapered babies on cream rugs, pastel hues galore and tall carefree woman throwing unfettered-by-my-cycle glances over their shapely shoulders.
Then - imagine - it swiftly followed by a myriad of facial tics, restless limb syndrome and a montage of weeping myself to sleep at night, every night.
It's not all bad, the baby boards went through smoothly, one might even say as smoothly as a babies bottom - but I'm obviously too burnt and cynical to put out a pun as lazy as that. But for every nappy commercial that is not problematic there's a feminine hygiene website about vaginal maintenance that I went clicking around in (I was sent the link for reference!) that I cannot unsee.
It seems my tenure as Overseer of All Ads Absorbent ends today. No longer shall I be known as The Ghost of Hiccuping Sobs, I'll be able to hold a conversation with my boys without suddenly screaming and tearing at my face.
My morning coffee with ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) butfirst will no longer revolve around the merits of the new, slimmer pad with wings or the comfort to practicality ratio of the latest streamlined nappy design.
Oh look! The sun is shining! |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 24th, 2009|11:51 am] |
Great Platypus Totem sez:
Put it on my bill. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 17th, 2009|04:27 pm] |
Great Wombat Totem sez:
Eat comma roots and leaves.
Putting the panth back into pantheon. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 17th, 2009|04:05 pm] |
Part 1 of 1: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR BRAIN'S NOT WATCHING.
The Mighty Tesla. |
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